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Below you can find the lyrics of all the tracks on this CD
1. Whisky and Death
2. Whiskey Lullaby
3. All the Whisky Men
4. Magic Ship of Dreams
5. Johnnie and Me
6. Shackletons Hut
7. Jasper (Jack) D.
8. Slow as Molasses
9. Hemingways Whiskey
10. The Sentosa Sails Away
11. Pestering Jim
12. McGintys Meal and Ale
13. Whisky Cathedral
14. Ugly Betty
15. All Summer Long
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1. Whisky and Death
When I die lay me in my grave
In a coffin made out of barrel staves
I could face eternity after I croak
In a box made of whisky-soaked oak
Say goodbye to me with a wake
After you make sure theres no mistake
Lay all my whiskies out in a line
And drink to me one last time
When I get to St Peters gate
Ill dress up nice and I wont be late
I guess I wont have too long to wait
Because everyone else in the line
Will smell of the vault and the tomb
But the angels eyes will shimmer and shine
When they smell my malt perfume
When I get to St Peters gate
Ill dress up nice and I wont be late
I guess I wont have too long to wait
Because everyone else in the line
Will smell of the vault and the tomb
But the angels eyes will shimmer and shine
When they smell my malt perfume
All my life I followed one rule
Be good, be cool, dont act the fool
And the best reward for a hard-working man
Is a decent dram in your hand
After death - if you hear from me
Que pasa hombre - Aaieee Im a zombie
Dont run away - grab a whisky instead
And smash it over my head
Come on Death then where is thy sting?
Where are your demons with the torn black wings
Carmina Burana let everyone sing
Ill look you in the eye
Though youre colder than Lady MacBeth
Were scared to live when were scared to die
Ill take whisky and death
Take me to the far side
Take me to the dark side
Let me feel the edge of the knife
I see a pale horse
And a fiery cross
So take me to the water
Take me to the water
Take me to the water of life
You prowl in the dark with your crows and cats
Red-eyed rats and graveyard bats
If I pour a dram in the blackest night
It shines with a golden light
The universe is cold and vast
So raise a glass to me after Ive passed
Life is as short as a Disney cartoon
You know your turn will come soon
Come on Death then where is thy sting?
Where are your demons with the torn black wings
Carmina Burana let everyone sing
Ill look you in the eye
Though youre colder than Lady MacBeth
Were scared to live when were scared to die
Ill take whisky and death
Track List
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2. Whiskey Lullaby (Bill Anderson + Jon Randall)
She put him out like the burnin end of a midnight cigarette
She broke his heart, he spent his whole life tryin to forget
We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time
But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind
Until the night
He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength he had to get up off his knees
We found him with his face down in the pillow
With a note that said, "Ill love her till I die."
And when we buried him beneath the willow
The angels sang a whiskey lullaby
La la la la la la la
The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind
Until the night
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away his memory
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to his picture for dear life
We laid her next to him beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby
La la la la la la la
Track List
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3. All the Whisky Men
I poured a dram and I closed my eyes
Im in a room with the whisky men
All those cool and colourful guys
From nowadays to way back when
Five hundred years of the Whisky Men
Heroes and characters one and all
From monacled Johnny and Charlie Maclean
To Friar John Cor and his twenty-five bolls
All the Whisky Men
Im in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me
Tommy Dewars burning my ears
With all the tales of his latest trip
Old Glenlivet just appeared
Packing two pistols on his hip
Long Johns longer than little John Black
But hes not blacker than old Long John
Jim McEwan never holds back
His wonderful stories rolling on and on
All the Whisky Men
Im in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me
Bernasconi has the biggest whisky bar
Two and a half thousand to be precise
Gunter Sommer has the smallest by far
No wine no vodka no beer no ice
Richard Paterson in a very nice tie
Is throwing stuff around like he tends to do
Angels are teaching Michael Jackson to fly
Hes a Yorkshire Lithuanian atheist Jew
All the Whisky Men
Im in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me
Jim Murrays preaching from his bible again
And Restless Peter cant keep still
All the Grants are down from the Glen
Pip Hills is grilling Dr Bill
I see two guys who are having a row
Aeneas Coffey and Robert Stein
Its time to open some whisky now
Pour them a dram and theyll get along fine
All the Whisky Men
Im in their company
All the Whisky Men
Having a dram with me
Suddenly my dream goes Pop!
All the whisky men disappear
I didnt want this dream to stop
Im softly sobbing in my beer
A door flies open with a sudden noise
Shrieks of laughter and bows and frills
Now I dont miss those whisky boys
Im surrounded by the whisky girls
All the whisky girls
Im in their company
All the whisky girls
Having a dram with me
All the whisky girls
Im in their company
All the whisky girls
Laughing and teasing me
Track List
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4. Magic Ship of Dreams
Butts are bumping and barrels are bouncing
And hoggies are hammering along
All aboard the magic ship of dreams
Taking whisky down to Major Tom
His name is Thomas Ewers
And his crew are busy beavers
Working hard from noon till morn
Hell fix the shakes and fevers
Of the spiritual believers
Theyll be pacified in Paderborn
Butts are bumping and barrels are bouncing
Hes got the Bunnahabhain
And hes got the Bruichladdich
Auchentoshan, Allt a Bhainne and Tamdhu
Ardmore, Bowmore,
Dalmore, Tormore
Any dram with more will do.
Butts are bumping and barrels are bouncing
When the wife is scowlin
And the weans are howlin
And everything you handle falls apart
Thomas is the fixer
His magical elixir
Will kindle up the flame inside your heart.
Butts are bumping and barrels are bouncing
In his warehouse shoppie
You can try a little droppie
Poured with a sympathetic smile
Lets raise a glass to Thomas
He delivers on his promise
And hell always go the extra mile
Butts are bumping and barrels are bouncing
He takes in deliveries
From dozens of distilleries
Nothing but the best for Tam the man
Theres something of our history
And just a little mystery
In every single golden dram
Butts are bumping and barrels are bouncing
Track List
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5. Johnnie and Me
Theres a country in my memory
I still visit now and then
A place of innocence and harmony
Before the shadows cast by men
Sometimes it seems
That theres only one guy
On whom you really can depend
And I say ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Im taking Johnnie Walker home with me tonight
Looking back as far as I can see
Its a sad rear mirror view
If my life has been a tapestry
Its all been done in black and blue
And I beat myself up
With all those might have beens
But I dont know what else to do
So I sing ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Im taking Johnnie Walker home with me tonight
When Im feeling small
I can rely on him to call
Even in the middle of the night
Johnnie comes round
And he says ‘Ooh Baby
Everything will be alright
Just hold me tight
Im not looking for no sympathy
Dont want to sound like Patsy Cline
Yes I wish Id done things differently
But at least the choices were all mine
Cos if you dont take chances
Then your dreams cant fly
Theyll only wither on the vine
So I say ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Im taking Johnnie Walker home with me tonight
All you other guys
Just get over it and dry your eyes
Maybe some day your turn will come
But not tonight!
Ooh ooh ooh ooh
Tonights gonna be
Just Johnnie and me
Sometimes love is like a lottery
Sometimes a roller coaster ride
Broken dreams and broken crockery
A broken heart you try to hide
I lost my way, sometimes
I even lost hope
But I never lost my pride
So Im singing ooh ooh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh
Im taking Johnnie Walker home with me tonight
Im taking Johnnie, hes my honey
Hes always worth the money
Im taking Johnnie Walker home with me tonight
Track List
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6. Shackletons Hut
Gonna fly across to Jamaica
Then Ill swim to the Yucatan
Ill get to Venezuela
Any way I can
Ill cycle down the Andes
Right to the very tip
At Tierra del Fuego
Ill climb aboard a ship
Across the Weddell Sea
That ship will carry me
Gonna cleanse my soul
At the Southern Pole
My life has lost its meaning
I think Im in a rut
Its time for some spring cleaning
And a month or two in Shackletons hut
I wont take anything with me
Except for my teddy bear
I guess it could get lonely
Depends how long Im there
I wont miss television
Its a poison in my brain
A drop of Shackletons whisky
Will help to keep me sane
Underneath the floor
Theres sixty bottles or more
Gonna dig a little hole
At the Southern Pole
My life has lost its meaning...
Now Ernest was a god guy
Respected by all his men
He took them to the worlds edge
And brought them back again
He embraced adventure
Every single day
And he knew the power of whisky
To keep the cold at bay
Oh Shackleton could be
A role model for me
Im gonna rock and roll
At the Southern Pole
My life has lost its meaning...
Now Ive reached Antarctica
I landed with the tide
But a friendly penguin told me
The huts on the other side
I guess Id better start walking
Itll help to keep me warm
A little bit of exercise
Never did me any harm
Pingo come with me
I could use some company
Well waddle and well stroll
To the Southern Pole
My life has lost its meaning...
Track List
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7. Jasper (Jack) D.
I took a little trip to Lynchburg, Moore County, Tennessee
I wanted to visit the spiritual home of good old Jasper (Jack) D.
But when I got to Lynchburg I couldnt get a drop to try
The man in the place laughed in my face and said Sorry, Lynchburgs dry.
Dry as a bone, dry as a stone
Dry as fake tears down the telephone
Dry as tumbleweed rollin in the dust
Dry as a flame on a flake of rust
Theres nowhere as dry as the spiritual home
Of good old Jasper (Jack) D.
I must have looked kind of bewildered cos the man began to explain
He said Lynchburgs dry as a Scotchmans purse, no matter how much it rains.
If you ask for a drink in Lynchburg youre always gonna be refused
Since nineteen-0-nine this town of mine is a place where you cant buy booze.
Dry as a well when the oil is gone
Dry as toast with no butter on
Dry as a tick in a tigers coat
Dry - so dry it sticks in my throat
Theres nowhere as dry as the spiritual home
Of good old Jasper (Jack) D.
Jack Daniel wouldnt like it
It would make him cry
The home of his Tennessee Sour Mash
Is dry a shovel of cigar ash
The last place you can make a splash
Is here - cos Lynchburgs dry.
You can hunt like Davy Crockett, you can lie like Monicas Bill
You can wheedle and plead till your eyeballs bleed but you cant get a quarter gill
The angels here get plenty - poor sinners we get none
So dont think twice, take my advice - and head for Kentucky, Son!
Dry as your mouth after youre sick
Dry as an oven for baking a brick
Dry as a gulch where warthogs play
Or a sinners tongue on Judgement Day
Theres nowhere as dry as the spiritual home
Of good old Jasper (Jack) D.
Track List
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8. Slow as Molasses
Slow as molasses - a glacial pace
Slow as the lines etched by time on your face
Slow as two continents drift apart
Slow as the healing of a broken heart
Time is a healer - thats the simple truth
The wisdom of age is paid by the folly of youth
Time takes no prisoners, takes no heed
It goes so slow when youve a need for speed
Baby it takes time
Theres no other way
If you want to see that firefly shine
You have to wait till the close of day
We do what we have to with power and heat
To get from the barley something charmingly sweet
But then the best thing we can do
Is to let the years slowly trickle through
Theres a rhythm of livin that were wise to keep
We work and we play all the day - and then we sleep
Whisky too has its day and its night
The more it sleeps the more it gives delight
Baby it takes time
Theres no other way
Nobody said it was a crime
To keep something back for a rainy day
So savour the memory of all thats passed
Think of the whisky as history in a glass
Let your mind drift to way back when
Was your life any sweeter then?
Baby it takes time
Theres no other way
You can find that elusive rhyme
Dont be content with a bent cliché.
Slow as molasses - a glacial pace
Slow as the lines etched by time on your face
Slow as two continents drift apart
Slow as the healing of a broken heart
Track List
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9. Hemingways Whiskey (Guy Clark)
Hemingways whiskey
Warm and smooth and mean
Even when it burns
Itll always finish clean
He didnt like it watered down
He took it straight up and neat
If it was bad enough for him
You know its bad enough for me
Hemingways whiskey
Hemingways whiskey
You know its tough out there
A good muse is hard to find
Living one word to the next
One line at a time
Theres more to life than whiskey
Theres more to words than rhyme
Sometimes nothing works
Sometimes nothing shines
Like Hemingways whiskey
Hemingways whiskey
Sail away, sail away
As the day draws dim
Live hard, die hard
This ones for him
Hemingways whiskey
Warm and smooth and mean
Even when it burns
Itll always finish clean
He didnt like it watered down
He took it straight up and neat
If it was bad enough for him
You know its bad enough for me
Hemingways whiskey
Hemingways whiskey
Sail away, sail away
Three sheets to the wind
Live hard, die hard
This ones for him
Hemingways whiskey
Hemingways whiskey
Track List
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10. The Sentosa Sails Away
The Sentosa sails away
And the sun is going down
Its been another working day
Crazy in its way
But now the sun is going down
The city noise is left behind
And the water is so calm
Ive got nothing on my mind
In fact Im feeling fine
I am happy where I am
Weve got glasses in our hands
And a smile on every face
Its not hard to understand
That anyone could find
A taste of heaven in this place
The Sentosa sails away...
Sorrows never far away
And we wonder where it all might end
But just for today
Weve got good whisky and good friends.
Captain Kurt is in command
His reputation is well known
With strong coffee in his hand
For he never takes a dram
He will bring us safely home
The city noise is left behind
And the water is so calm
Ive got nothing on my mind
In fact Im feeling fine
I am happy where I am
The Sentosa sails away...
The Sentosa sails away...
Track List
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11. Pestering Jim
Im pestering Jim wi a glass in my hand
Just one more story Jim - just one more dram
No-one can tell them the way that you can
Youre a true legend of Islay
Ive travelled to lands - both far and near
But nowhere to Islay at all can compare
It gladdens my heart - its a joy to be here
With Jim McEwan on Islay
And Im pestering Jim...
Sing of the sunset the sea and the sand
Sing to the seals that come close to the land
Sing of the folk and the wonderful drams
With Jim McEwan on Islay
And Im pestering Jim...
Jim is the laddie that we love the best
He should have medals all over his chest
A man of his island - a man of the West
Hes a true legend of Islay
And Im pestering Jim...
Jim we salute you and all that youve done
In the world of whisky, Jim - you are the one
And Islay is proud to call you her son
The cheekiest laddie on Islay
And Im pestering Jim...
So fill up your glasses - right to the brim
Let us all stand for a tribute to Jim
Calmac should name a boat after him
Hes a true legend of Islay
And Im pestering Jim...
Track List
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12. McGintys Meal and Ale
This is no a sang o love an its no a sang o money,
Faith its naethin verra peetifu, its naethin verra funny;
But theres hielan Scotch, theres Lowland Scotch, theres Butter Scotch an honey,
If theres nane o them at a then theres a mixture o the three.
An theres nae a word o beef, brose, sowens, sauty bannocks na
Nor pancakes, paes eggs for them wi dainty stammicks;
But its a aboot a meal and ale that happened at Balmannock,
At McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
CHORUS: They were howlin in the kitchen like a caravan o Tinkies,
And some were playin ping-pong, and tiddely widdely winkies;
Up the ha and doon the ha ye niver saw such jinkies,
As McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
Noo McGintys pig had broken loose, an wannert tae the lobby,
Whaur he open shoved the pantry door, an cam upon the toddy;
And he took kindly tae the stuff like ony human body,
At McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
Miss McGinty she ran ben the hoose, the wey was dark an crookit,
She gaed heelster gowdie ower the pig, for it she never lookit;
And she lat oot a skirl that wad hae paralysed a teuchit,
At McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
CHORUS
Johnnie Murphy he ran efter her, and ower the pig was leapin
Whan he trampit on an ashet that was sittin fu o dreepin
An he fell doon and peelt his croon, an couldna haud fae greetin
At McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
And the pantry shelf cam ricklin doon and he was lyin kirnin
Amang saft soap, pease meal, corn flour and yirnin
Like a gollach amang trickle but McGintys wife was girnin
At the soss upon her pantry flair an widnae lat him be.
CHORUS
Syne they ran skirlin tae the door but fan that it was tuggit,
And aye it held the faster, aye the mair they rug an tug it;
Till McGinty roared tae bring an axe, he wadna be humbuggit,
Na nor lockit in his ain hoose, and that he lat them see.
Sae the wife cam trailin wi an axe, an through the bar was hacket,
And open flew the door at aince, sae ticht they a were packet,
And a the crew cam rummlin oot like tatties frae a backet,
At McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
CHORUS
They had spurtles, they had tattie chappers, faith they werena jokin
They swore theyd gar the pig claw whaur he was never yokin
But by this time the lad was fou and didna care a dockin
At McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
Oh! theres eelie pigs an jeelie pigs, an pigs for haudin butter,
Aye but this pig was greetin fou and rowin in the gutter,
Till McGinty and his foreman trailed him oot upon a shutter,
Frae McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
CHORUS
Miss McGinty took the thing tae heart, an hidet in her closet,
An they rubbit Johnnie Murphys head wi turpentine an roset;
Syne they harlt him wi meal and ale, ye really wid suppose it
He had sleepit in a masons trough and risen tae the spree.
Oh! Its weary fi the barley bree, an weary fi the weather,
For its keetcherin mang dubs an drink, they gangna weel thegither;
But theres little doot McGintys pig is wishin for anither
O McGintys meal and ale, whaur the pig gaed on the spree.
CHORUS
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13. Whisky Cathedral
I dream of a place on the Rinns of Islay
A place where Im al-ways longing to be
A place where the fluttering wings of angels--
Are constantly cooling and comforting me
Theres wood from the Ozark oaks of Missouri
And wood from the fab-led forests of France
And every cask contains golden treasure---
Thats why the angels all play harps and dance
In the warehouse at Bruichladdich
I drink therefore I am
A whisky cathedral
Where angels are singing
In praise of glorious drams
The names that I see are the lines of a litany
Margaux, Petrus, - Latour and Lafitte
Gonzalez Byass, Jim Beam and Jack Daniels
Our spirits are rais-ed and our joy is complete.
Some people say that the whisky is sinful
And may lead you down - into the abyss
But whisky can light up the road to salvation
A heavenly dra-m is a moment of bliss
In the warehouse...
And what better place than the Rinns of Islay
To fondly reca-ll my whisky career
So many moments and so many blessings
And most of the best ones have all happened here
In the warehouse...
In pra-a-aise, pra-a-aise, in pra-a-a-aise, i---n praise of glorious drams
Track List
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14. Ugly Betty
I love my Ugly Betty
OK shes rough and ready
But what she gives me in the end
May not be nutritious
But its suspiciously delicious
She will always be my friend
When I dance with Ugly Betty
It always feels so right
Together we glide
Side by side
Beneath the pale moonlight
Whatever mood Im in
Im in the mood for gin
I hear those violins
And I am gone
My love for Ugly Betty
Gets me giddy and unsteady
My sense of balance gets confused
I stagger and I stumble
I mumble and I fumble
My feet get tripped up by my shoes
When I kiss my Ugly Betty
Its always sexy and slow
She tingles my lip
And the little tender tip
Of my tongue gets a tickly glow
Whatever mood Im in
Im in the mood for gin
I hear those violins
And I am gone
When Im with Ugly Betty
Dreams fall like confetti
Happy thoughts raining down on me
My cup is flowing over
Im rolling in the clover
Gee I love my G and T
When I talk to Ugly Betty
She doesnt have a lot to say
But between me and you
I can talk enough for two
And Betty smiles to tell me thats OK
Whatever mood Im in
Im in the mood for gin
It surely is no sin
If it dribbles down my chin
And Ive got this crazy grin
Like Im in a loony bin
Please call my next of kin
Cos I am gone
Solid gone
Track List
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15. All Summer Long
(SHAFER, MATTHEW / WACHTEL, WADDY / RITCHIE, R.J. / MARINELL, LEROY / ZEVON, WARREN / KING, EDWARD / ROSSINGTON, GARY / VANZANT, RONALD)
It was 1989, my thoughts were short my hair was long
Caught somewhere between a boy and man
She was seventeen and she was far from in-between
It was summertime in Northern Michigan
Ahh Ahh Ahh
Ahh Ahh Ahh
Splashing through the sand bar
Talking by the campfire
Its the simple things in life, like when and where
We didnt have no internet
But man I never will forget
The way the moonlight shined upon her hair
And we were trying different things
We were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet home Alabama all summer long
Catching Walleye from the dock
Watching the waves roll off the rocks
Shell forever hold a spot inside my soul
Wed blister in the sun
We couldnt wait for night to come
To hit that sand and play some rock and roll
While we were trying different things
And we were smoking funny things
Making love out by the lake to our favorite song
Sipping whiskey out the bottle, not thinking bout tomorrow
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Now nothing seems as strange
as when the leaves began to change
Or how we thought those days would never end
Sometimes Ill hear that song
and Ill start to sing along
And think man Id love to see that girl again
[Chorus: x 2]
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Singing Sweet Home Alabama all summer long
Track List
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