 It is amazing what crazy ideas two friends can come up with when they are enjoying a few drams together. This album is the result of one of those dram-fuelled crazy ideas. I can't remember whether it was in Paderborn or Edinburgh or Speyside, but anyway - there we were, Thomas and Robin enjoying each other's company while appreciating some outstanding single malts. The whisky endowed us both with happy dispositions and generosity of spirit - and the chat went something like this - Thomas to me; "Robin, I really like your songs and your music, especially when you sing about whisky" - me to Thomas; "Thomas, I really like your whiskies, the standard is always high - high enough to give me poetic inspiration" - then Thomas said, "Why don't we do something together?" - "Good idea, let's do it!" And there the idea might have sat, like a neglected dram, slowly evaporating into the atmosphere, until even the extrait sec had faded to nothingness (for this is often the fate of whisky-inspired ideas). But then came Covid 19 and the lockdown and Thomas said, "Hey Robin, you don't have any gigs - how about working on that idea we had?" I said, "Sure - send me some inspiration" - and he did. This is the result. Below you can find the lyrics of all the tracks on this CD 1. Building Bridges 2. Uncle Joe 3. Angel's Choice 4. Magic Ship of Dreams 5. Masterpiece 6. Up in the Dram Room 7. Miss Sunshine 8. The Dark Side of Islay 9. Barley Bree for Charlie-O 10. Images of Scotland |
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1. Building Bridges
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2. Uncle Joe
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3. Angel's Choice
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4. Magic Ship of Dreams
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5. Masterpiece
For a few years now, Thomas has been working with Wilhelm Nordhof to make German whisky in Paderborn. Top of the range is called Masterpiece. These are single cask bottlings where the cask has been chosen with particular care - no straightforward bourbon or sherry casks for these. The one that kept me company while I worked on this song was matured in an ex-Laphroaig port wine cask. I am very fond of a touch of smoke in a whisky and I love the effect that port casks can have on whisky, especially on the colour, so it is no surprise that I got a bit ecstatic creating this panegyric. Oh my goodness - Oh sweet Lord Westfalian Whisky deserves its awards Try it for yourself - don't just take my word For what they've created has got me elated It's a mas-ter-piece It's a mas-ter-piece It's got me on my knees - I can hardly crawl This thing should be hung up on a wall But No! - I'm gonna drink it all Cos it's a mas-ter-piece Think of Picasso - think of Van Gogh If this was a woman - I'd surely be in love For one little sip is never enough Maybe it’s pathetic - but I find this aesthetic It's a mas-ter-piece It's a mas-ter-piece It's got me on my knees - I can hardly crawl This thing should be hung up on a wall But No! - I'm gonna drink it all Cos it's a mas-ter-piece One little sip - I feel its warm embrace Another little sip - my blood begins to race I can't get rid of the smile on my face I'm feeling ecstatic - even acrobatic It's a mas-ter-piece It's a mas-ter-piece It's got me on my knees - I can hardly crawl This thing should be hung up on a wall But No! - I'm gonna drink it all Cos it's a mas-ter-piece Don't tell Mama - don't tell the priest Don't fetch the doctor - don't call the police Just close the door and leave me in peace For what they've created should be appreciated It's a mas-ter-piece It's a mas-ter-piece It's got me on my knees - I can hardly crawl This thing should be hung up on a wall But No! - I'm gonna drink it all Cos it's a mas-ter-piece Fantastic casks, what more could you ask This is high class - it's art in a glass And if you don't agree - well - you can kiss my - mas-ter-piece Track List |
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6. Up in the Dram Room
In Paderborn at Thomas' whisky emporium, there is a room upstairs - part bar, part lounge, part tasting and event room. Customers congregate there to try all the latest whiskies and spend some time together in congenial conversations; they generally leave happier than when they arrived, clutching their treasured purchases. Now and again, Thomas has tastings and masterclasses, for example with Jim McEwan, Charlie Maclean and John McDougall. He has also invited me, on a few occasions, to give whisky concerts. These events are always good fun and the drams are invariably special. People leave with happy memories and I wove some of my happy memories into this song. Up in the dram room Up the happy stairs If whisky is your passion You'll be welcome there If you're feeling lonely Abandoned and forlorn Come to the dram room Here in Paderborn When winter weather threatens With wind and sleet and snow And you need to lift your spirits Then the best place you can go To see some friendly faces And take shelter from the storm Is up in the dram room Here in Paderborn People come from Stuttgart From Bonn and from Berlin From Hanover and Hamburg Desperate to come in They want to taste the nectar From barley, rye and corn Up in the dram room Here in Paderborn Up in the dram room Up the happy stairs If whisky is your passion You'll be welcome there If you're feeling lonely Abandoned and forlorn Come to the dram room Here in Paderborn Remember Jim McEwan Came to tell us tales Some of them were whoppers Bigger than blue whales But the man is such a legend And the atmosphere was warm Up in the dram room Here in Paderborn Thomas is the boss here He's like Professor Snape Producing magic potions From underneath his cape And his drams are so seductive It's almost whisky porn Up in the dram room Here in Paderborn Up in the dram room Up the happy stairs If whisky is your passion You'll be welcome there If you're feeling lonely Abandoned and forlorn Come to the dram room Here in Paderborn Don't forget the Whisky Bard He's been here many times With stories songs and poetry Music, words and rhymes We sit around and sip our drams Watching him perform Up in the dram room Here in Paderborn And when the evening's ended And drams have fuzzed our heads We brave the cold and darkness To find our comfy beds To dream of smiling angels And prancing unicorns Thanks to the dram room Here in Paderborn Up in the dram room Up the happy stairs If whisky is your passion You'll be welcome there If you're feeling lonely Abandoned and forlorn Come to the dram room Here in Paderborn Come to the dram room Here - in Paderborn Track List |
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7. Miss Sunshine
"Sweet corn whiskey - keeps me feeling fine" - Miss Sunshine is a liqueur, based on The Westfalian single corn whiskey. The taste is sweet and seductive, evoking thoughts of summer sunshine and days of fun and relaxation (as does the deck chair and palm trees on the bottle). The corn base and the sweetness give it a "popcorn in a glass" vibe; perfect with ice on a sunny afternoon, or with coffee after dinner. I couldn't help writing something about the mysterious and very desirable Miss Sunshine, but as often happens in my songs, is it a woman or is it a whiskey? Sometimes the lines get a bit blurred! I woke up this morning - Sunshine on my bed I woke up this morning - Sunshine on my bed I won't go to work now - I'm gonna stay here instead I love my little lady - Miss Sunshine is her name I love that little lady - Miss Sunshine is her name I love her so much - it's driving me insane Ooh Miss Sunshine - I think you're the best Ooh Miss Sunshine - I think you're the best I think about you so much - I can't get no rest I love the way you smell - ooh I love your touch I love the way you smell - ooh I love your touch If you gave your baby whisky - he wouldn't cry so much I went to Doctor Thomas - told him I was feeling down I went to Doctor Thomas - told him I was feeling down He said "don't worry - tomorrow she'll be back in town" Sweet corn whiskey - keeps me feeling fine Sweet corn whiskey - keeps me feeling fine Miss Sunshine thrills me - she kills me all the time She takes me up to heaven - she's so good to me She takes me up to heaven - oh she's so good to me Come Friday evening - heaven's where I want to be I woke up this morning - Sunshine on my bed I woke up this morning - Sunshine on my bed I won't go to work now - I'm gonna stay home now I won't go to work now - I'm gonna stay here instead Track List |
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8. The Dark Side of Islay
Thomas has called his range of fantastic malts from Islay "The Dark Side of Islay". These are limited edition, special creations of blended Islay malts. Each bottle carries a picture of some exotic looking sea monster or dragon and the name of a long closed Islay distillery. These whiskies are harking back to aspects of Islay's past - almost forgotten distilleries and vaguely remembered myths and legends. This really appeals to me as I had previously studied such myths and stories for my book "Whisky Legends of Islay". The drams are truly inspirational - I tried the 18 year old called Ardenistiel and the 21 year old called Scarrabus. Sipping these amazing drams and with my knowledge and experience of Islay, I let my imagination wander on the theme of "The Dark Side of Islay". Perhaps I was in too serious a mood for a song so a poem came out. Islay is undoubtedly the whisky island par excellence - but it also has so much more. I really enjoyed writing this and I hope it takes you there every bit as much as enjoying a great Islay malt would. The Dark Side of Islay is in the peat Ten thousand years of sphagnum moss laid down It's cut in summer days of midge and heat Then floppy, sloppy slabs of darkest brown Are stacked and left to dry in wind and sun To give us warmth when winter tempests come. The Dark Side of Islay is in the sea, Deep down, below the swelling of the waves Where scary-looking things and monsters be, Sad scatterings of wrecks are unmarked graves And lost souls shiver in the salty dim, While claws crack shells and teeth tear scales and fins. The Dark Side of Islay is in the smoke, Shamanic smoke from maltings dimly lit, Or clouds that rise from charred and blistered oak; Distillers draw the magic out of it Till sweet and acrid burntness floods the taste And in our mouths is lovingly embraced. The Dark Side of Islay is found in tales, In farm or croft with embers in the grate, While outside blackness hides the howling gales; We hear of ghosts and evil twists of fate, Of creatures that between two worlds can pass And we draw courage from the amber glass. The Dark Side of Islay evokes the night, When work is done and light fades from the west And we become like birds in silent flight Seeking each our woodland perch for rest And take, before sweet sleep can intervene, A dram to give us smoke-embroidered dreams. The Dark Side of Islay lies in the past When people came from many distant lands; Those dynasties that rose but did not last, Those feuds and battles fought on moor or strand And men who once worked stills with zest and zeal - Scarrabus, Mulindry, Ardenistiel. The Dark Side of Islay is in this dram; I taste the barley sweetness and the smoke, Sherry notes take me to a distant land, Mouth-drawing tannins tell of mighty oaks; It comes together like some lovely dream And once more Malts of Scotland reign supreme. Track List |
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9. Barley Bree for Charlie-O
Any similarity between the character in this song and any real person is, of course, purely accidental. I do sometimes wonder, when performing abroad in my kilt outfit, what the locals think. Of course, I am always well-behaved in these situations but there is no doubt that free whisky is a terrible temptation to some Scotsmen and I started to imagine what might happen if a kilted Scotsman got a little bit outrageous and carried away with the élan vital that can result from a few good drams that he didn’t have to pay for. It was on cold dark winter's morn A Scotsman came to Paderborn Lookin' for something to keep him warm He said his name was Charlie-o. Said Thomas "Would you tak a dram?" Says Charlie "That's a marvellous plan", So they put a large glass in his hand Which cheered him up entirely-o O gi'e me a double, a bumper dram Gi'e me the juice o' the barley-o The beer an' the bubbles are a' for the bams It's barley bree for Charlie-o. They poured him a dram o' the Angel's Choice Says he "That's fine but what's the price?" Said Thomas - "No they're on the house" "Well bugger me!" says Charlie-o. And after that he downed a few We're no just talking one or two The glasses a' lined up in a queue For Charlie was ha'ein' a party-o. O gi'e me a double, a bumper dram Gi'e me the juice o' the barley-o The beer an' the bubbles are a' for the bams It's barley bree for Charlie-o. Noo Charlie is a helluva bloke He likes a dram, he likes a smoke, He laughs out loud when he cracks a joke, He isna shy or surley-o. He drank, he danced, he sang, he swore He played some pranks and drank some more Then he turned some cartwheels over the floor That acrobatic Charlie-o. O gi'e me a double, a bumper dram Gi'e me the juice o' the barley-o The beer an' the bubbles are a' for the bams It's barley bree for Charlie-o. Then up on a table he did prance And said "I'll gi'e ye a highland dance" Instead, he showed he wore no pants To cover his short and curlies-o. He hopped and louped frae leg tae leg Wi' his pad-de-bas an' his philibeg We saw the nest, we saw the eggs We saw the cheeky wee birdie-o. O gi'e me a double, a bumper dram Gi'e me the juice o' the barley-o The beer an' the bubbles are a' for the bams It's barley bree for Charlie-o. In Paderborn that crazy night The ladies blushed, the men took fright I guess they'd never seen a sight Like Charlie's naked hurdies-o. He heuched and teuched, he wheeled an' squealed Wi' moves ye widna ca’ genteel We'll a' mind whit was there revealed At the highland dance o' Charlie-o. O gi'e me a double, a bumper dram Gi'e me the juice o' the barley-o The beer an' the bubbles are a' for the bams It's barley bree for Charlie-o. O gi'e me a double, a bumper dram Gi'e me the juice o' the barley-o The beer an' the bubbles are a' for the bams It's barley bree for Charlie-o. Track List |
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10. Images of Scotland This is a range of single malts from Scotland. The bottle labels do not tell the name of the distillery, only the region, but there is a drawing of some local landmark which may (or may not) be a clue. The one I was enjoying when writing this song was an image of Speyside showing the Bridge of Avon - a sweet, fruity delight with suggestions of apricot jam, spiced plums, marzipan petits fours and Zinfandel rosé, with playful traces of red laces, dried cranberries and tobacco leaf – oh and a gorgeous blood orange amber colour - it made me want to pack up, break the lockdown rules and go north! Of course I didn't - but I could also imagine German customers enjoying the whisky in these bottles and looking longingly at the drawings. In some cases it might bring back happy memories of previous visits, in others it might encourage people to make a decision to visit the country that produces such wonderful drams. Malts of Scotland Images of Scotland Places we have seen Malts of Scotland Images of Scotland Memories, imaginings and dreams Let's pour some drams and make some plans I feel the urge to go Back to Scotland - Islay to Shetland The high road and the low Back to where friendship and whisky flow Malts of Scotland Images of Scotland Places we have been Malts of Scotland Images of Scotland Memories, imaginings and dreams I want to stand, dram in hand On the Islay shore To hear the sea and feel the breeze To know what life is for If I have this then who could ask for more The river Spey weaves its way Down from distant hills When springtime comes we raise our drams In praise of copper stills Oh I remember just how good that feels Malts of Scotland Images of Scotland Places we have seen Malts of Scotland Images of Scotland Memories, imaginings and dreams Let's pour some drams and make some plans I feel the urge to go - Back to where friendship and whisky flow Track List |
last changes: 25 August 2021 , comments to info@robinlaing.com
